I just can’t help myself. I want to share more from my old journal with you all. I hope you’re not bored with me already. This is fun for me. Besides, I am in the midst of relocation and my brain doesn’t have any truly profound musings to share, other than the fact that moving makes me want to burn all my shit and adopt minimalism.
Let’s kick things off with yet another sad, depressing poem from my younger self. This one has elements in it that found their way into my Tales from the Twisted Libra Cemetery series. I love seeing the progression of my work! Brace yourselves; here comes the melancholy:
Watch me as I fall apart.
Spread my ashes everywhere.
Bruised and broken is my heart,
For no one really seems to care.
I’ve succumbed to loneliness,
And bitter revelations.
I’ve given in to darkness,
And its power of persuasion.
My soul is dark and empty.
Inside, I am frozen.
No one here can save me,
From the path that I have chosen.
Demons dance inside my mind.
My eyes are dark and hollow.
The devils seems to call to me.
Where they lead, I will follow.
Turned upon; cast aside.
Discarded like the rose’s thorn.
Manipulated and abused.
Wishing I was never born.
I can’t turn back; I’m lost forever,
Abandoned in this hell alone.
Darkness has me in its grasp.
My soul is no longer mine to own.
© Twisted Libra
I’m glad she healed. Goddamn, Teenage Libra had so much damage. Don’t get me wrong; I still wrestle with some demons, but this girl was vastly overcome by them. As I am sharing these poems, I am recalling the pain and helplessness she felt. These are emotions I haven’t felt in quite some time. I just want to reach back through the years and hug her. She’d no doubt punch me and tell me to fuck off, but I’d hug her just the same. Damn. Okay, let’s move on to the next one. It’s more hopeful. Enjoy:
Fade in. Fade out.
Does anybody see me?
I stare at my reflection.
Can this person really be me?
Once upon a time, I knew,
Just where I was heading.
Now, it seems I’m led astray,
By things that I’m regretting.
Somewhere deep inside of me,
There lives a total stranger.
She’s not brought down by the pain,
Or tortured by the anger.
She handles her life day by day,
And always keeps her head.
She doesn’t feel her heart is cold,
Or her soul inside is dead.
I wish one day to be like her,
And live this life with ease,
For the way I’m living now,
Has brought me to my knees.
Will we two strangers ever meet?
Is it written in our fate?
Breathe in. Breathe out. I need her now.
Before it gets too late.
© Twisted Libra
I was unknowingly writing this to my future self. To Twisted Libra. I thought I was just writing to some fictional version of me that would never exist. That I hoped to be, but never thought I would be. This is kind of heavy, looking back now and knowing how I turned out. Now I am the girl who keeps her head, who handles her life, who let go of all those feelings of worthlessness and torment long ago. Reading this poem made me breathe a deep sigh of relieved accomplishment. This entire journal feels like a time capsule. I’m getting reacquainted with my former self, and so far it has been a positive experience!
Thank you for once again taking this journey with me down the old lane of memories! I have a few more items to share with you soon, so stay tuned! Here are the obligatory links, so please consider reading my books and/or subscribing to this blog (if you haven’t already). Thanks in advance!
Until next time…
Dancing Among the Remains 