Thank you, Carl Jung…

Raise your hand if you have ever felt like you just weren’t good enough.

Okay, well I am sure that’s most of us. It’s normal to sometimes feel like you don’t measure up. My problem is, I walk around feeling this way constantly. Carl Jung said, “Wherever an inferiority complex exists, there is a good reason.” What reason could my brain possibly have to make me feel like shit all the time? Make it make sense. I write poems and short stories, and sometimes they involve strong female characters who command attention. In real life, if someone pays me a compliment, I immediately think they are just being super polite out of pity. When other people talk about books they’ve read or places they’ve been, I feel like a ignorant little bumpkin. Everyone seems so much smarter than me, so much more grounded. I often feel like the collective world looks at me, pats me on the head and thinks, “Awww, that’s too bad.”

I could go on, but nobody enjoys a pity party. Besides, I feel like some sort of gothic cliché. “Clinically depressed with daddy issues” isn’t exactly a rare category. You know what? I’m just going to shut up. I’m making myself feel even worse about being me. At least the pain serves as a great muse. It’s given me some of my best poems over the years. I suppose I should proofread and hit publish before I freak out and delete this entire entry. I can understand why people fake their lives online. It’s hell being vulnerable, especially on a public platform. It would be much easier to just pretend I am confident and happy. People don’t like messy. Depression is messy. Inferiority is messy. I definitely put the “me” is messy.

If you feel the same as I do, at least you know you’re not alone. If you’re well adjusted, please send advice. I’m just going to keep telling myself, “It’s okay. You belong here, too.” Maybe I will actually believe it someday.

Until next time…