Meet me in the cemetery!!!

Craving the Darkness: the official podcast of the Twisted Libra Cemetery!

New episodes every Friday at midnight!

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Coming soon!!!

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The Purge!

Welcome back, my lovelies! This will be a short but sweet post. If you’re reading this, I just want to say THANK YOU. I did a purge of my subscriber list this morning, and removed any defunct or suspicious (bot) accounts. My subscriber count dropped from 92 to 71. That’s fine by me. I am more interested in true engagement over high numbers. What good is having thousands of “followers” if no one is reading what I put out into the world? I appreciate you for sticking with me as I grow this crazy cemetery into something magical!

Also, let me quickly add that I changed the name of the podcast! Being that this blog has always been called Dancing Among the Remains, I wasn’t keen on the idea of the podcast being called the same. I want to distinguish between the two. So my podcast will now be called Craving the Darkness! Be sure to find me on Spotify! Episodes begin this Friday!

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Untethered…

Welcome back, my lovelies. Tell me, what does one do when they realize they are no longer shackled to the toxic patterns of the past? Yesterday was my last at a day job that, over the course of nearly two years, utterly destroyed my mental health. Don’t misunderstand, most of the people were great (some I will cherish forever as dear friends) and some parts of the job were truly fascinating. It’s just that, overall, a position that paid me for forty hours each week demanded my time and attention practically 24/7. It was overwhelming. Consuming. Detrimental. I lost myself, and my creative work suffered immensely.

Today is my first in quite a long time that I am untethered. No work phone constantly within my grasp. No anxiety about missed messages. No side-eye glancing every so often to make sure I am not missing anything. Just pure freedom. Silence. Peace.

I imagined this day with me at my computer absolutely bursting with creative fervor. So why am I sitting here somewhat numb and struggling to so much as type out this blog post? It’s as though I am lost and, rather than jump into one of the many activities I long to resume, I simply sit here feeling unable to begin anything at all. What is this strange feeling? I feel like a captive in my own mind. This isn’t writer’s block; it is something else entirely. I’m not unlike a timid animal, barely stepping away from the open cage after a long bout of incarceration. So strange. Is this a common experience? I didn’t anticipate this in the slightest.

Perhaps today will be one of simple leisure. I could lose myself in a good book, or watch a Dracula film. Maybe my mind just needs a break. I am going to take today and just breathe. Relax. Allow those lost parts of me to heal and return on their own time. I look forward to this next chapter of life, my lovelies, and I do hope you all will join me!

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The resurrection has begun…

New beginnings, my lovelies. New beginnings.

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Shaking off the ashes…

I finally made it back to Hollywood Cemetery this morning. If you have been around here more than a minute, you know that it is my current favorite cemetery outside of my own. Every time I go there, I feel like my soul was needing to visit. That place exudes beauty and calm on a level that no other place near me seems to match. Here are a few of my edits from the shots I took:

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Definitely more to come from your darkly delicious Twisted Libra!

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Up from the grave…

There is a resurrection taking place in the cemetery soon, my lovelies! Won’t you come along?

Stay tuned for details!

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Cleanliness is next to gothliness…

Welcome back to the cemetery, my lovelies! I am writing this from my newly redecorated goth nook. I spent all day yesterday (literally about eleven hours) rearranging furniture, building a new shelf, hanging artwork, reorganizing, and generally just exploding my goth touch all over everything in my little creepy space.

I feel so cozy and at peace in here now. I feel like myself again! So, why have I not done this already? I have lived here for a year and a half. Well…the day job was sucking my will to live. Until yesterday, I had unknowingly been locked in survival mode. I was initially excited for the job when it came into my life. It is what I needed at the time, and it brought me here to Richmond. I love my life here. However, after the new wore off, I realized that job was draining me. It was technically a 40 hour a week gig, but it became all day, seven days a week, and I was consumed by it. My brain lost all creative ability. Any second I wasn’t working. I found myself thinking about work. I gave more than I ever got, and without realizing it, I put my passion on hold. True, I have blogged in that time, and I have done a few creative things here and there, but not like I wanted. You know how I shut down and die a little each summer due to the awful weather? It was like that all the time for me. You may be wondering, what changed? Why was yesterday so significant?

Your beloved Twisted Libra has scored herself a new day job.

I have known for a few weeks, but I haven’t really been telling anyone. But as of tomorrow morning, I am giving my two week notice at the soul-sucking void. So yesterday I stepped away from all things work related and took the entire day for myself. I have not done that since I began this job nearly two years ago. It felt good to finally disconnect and just be myself. I plan to do the same today. As for the new gig, it starts later in September and it is going to be a LOT less stressful. It will also afford me more time off each week to once again explore my passion of all things macabre! To say I am happy is a huge understatement. I feel like I am getting my life back! (And just in time for spooky season, too!)

Yesterday was a great day. Today looks to be the same. My future is brighter than ever. This Libra is fucking happy! New job, new work space, new outlook, and new chapter. I am so stoked to see what this journey brings!

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Just call me Jezebel…

Welcome back to the cemetery, my lovelies! Today, I am lost in delicious contemplation of the book I am currently devouring. It is a deep dive into the psychology behind the creation of the Dracula novel:

Yes, I am still reading it. Finding time to sit and focus on reading has proven difficult these last several weeks, but I promise I am only a few chapters from being done. Anyway, the other day I read a passage that spoke about the sexual undertones of the characters and how they reflect upon Victorian societal norms. The part that really caught my attention was the discussion of Lucy Westenra. For those unfamiliar with the story (and in all honesty, if you are not at all familiar with Dracula, how the hell did you find this blog?), Lucy is a young Victorian socialite who exudes beauty and flirtatious confidence. She entertains three male suitors, ultimately choosing one as her fiancé. She is bold, yet a bit naïve, but ultimately wishes for more freedom in her choices and actions.

Lucy represents the type of thinking that, unfortunately, was deemed “unsuitable” in Victorian society. Based on what we know of Bram Stoker, he was supportive of the repressive views on women, their inherent sexuality, and just sexuality in general. Lucy’s desire to love and marry three men, so as not to have to choose, along with her bold flirtation, ultimately lead to what seemed to be her punishment in the novel. She was sought out by Dracula, repeatedly violated without her knowledge or consent, and transformed into a wanton, lustful creature of the night that fed on the innocent. Her demise was brought about by the very three men she loved, with her chosen suitor staking her in the heart while the others decapitated her corpse. One could posit that being run through with a phallic object (the stake) could be viewed as Arthur penetrating Lucy in a sexual sense. The others, particularly Jack, cutting off her head might be viewed as a type of revenge for her rejection. In the end, this part of the story is, on the surface, a vampire being destroyed and her soul being saved; in a deeper context, this is a group of men claiming ownership over a woman that dared to challenge the societal norms. Stoker believed that a love of home, family, and domestic duty was all a woman should feel passion for. The idea of the “new woman” that Mina and Lucy discuss stands in stark defiance of these ideas. Stoker painted Lucy as an example of what awaits a woman who dared to defy the traditional female role.

The takeaway here is, ultimately, that your beloved Twisted Libra would have never survived in Victorian society. Alright, that’s not the entire takeaway…but it amuses me to know I would have been an outcast in a time period for which I have always been fond. As for the sexual undertones of the novel, I honestly never gave them much thought before; however, reading this analysis has opened my eyes on many facets of the story. This was already my favorite novel, but now it is even more so. Lucy was punished for expressing desire and seeking freedom. Stoker characterized her as well as the three brides (if you are confused here, read the damn book already) with blatant sexuality and appeal, yet he dominated and destroyed these women in the end. I can’t help but feel that, on some level, he was repressing his own desires for the “new woman” of the era; that Lucy and the brides exuded qualities he wished he could openly appreciate. Anger at his own repression caused him to punish these women in his writings.

I’m not man-bashing here, honestly. I am not even trying to paint Stoker as the bad guy; he was a product of his environment. The real issue lies within society as a whole. What constitutes offense should never be collectively decided upon. Offense is subjective. Individuals should be allowed to live their lives without adherence to what others deem acceptable. As the late, great Papaw Libra used to say, “Your rights end where mine begin.” He felt like other people should be allowed to live as they pleased, so long as they didn’t expect him to live as they pleased.

I have never fit into the “traditional woman” category. I’m allergic to children, for fucks sake. I support freedom of choice, expression, and speech for everybody, not just women. I was never comfortable with the idea of being the quiet submissive who caters to everyone else’s needs but never her own. I feel submission and dominance within a relationship should be equal and function with more of an “ebb and flow” versus a static hierarchy. I won’t dive further on this because Libra Mom reads this sometimes and there are some things a mother just doesn’t need to know about her kid. Suffice it to say, I am pretty open about things like sexuality, desire, and personal ideals over societal ideals. Fuck the traditional views. Traditions are just a way for previous generations to control your life. Be unapologetically you, my lovelies!

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There’s life in the old girl yet…

I feel alive. More alive than I have in a while. Many positive changes are in motion for your beloved Twisted Libra. I will divulge more detail soon. Just know I am happy and the creative spark is returning. I wrote a new poem tonight. I am getting the itch to publish my next book. I might try to drag my ass out to Hollywood Cemetery tomorrow, even if I just do a drive through. My knee is not yet fully healed. Walking the cemetery would be ill-advised. I am more in touch with the version of myself I have longed to be. It is finally time for this little Libra to shine.

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