Dancing Among the Remains

Have you ever felt like you just didn’t have enough time to do all you wanted to do? I’m pretty sure we all have at some point. I know I was feeling that way quite heavily as of late, so I decided to put some actual thought into the matter rather than simply complaining about it. It’s the most logical way to incite change, is it not?

My introspection lead me to a stark conclusion: I was not happy. Was it my career, my relationship, my finances, the types of things that typically cause despair? No, I was quite pleased on all those fronts. The truth was, I was wasting my time. I was floundering in my creativity. I had fallen into the wretched trap of social media consumption. Why settle in with a good book that requires focus and imagination when you can scroll endlessly through 15-30 second snippets of mindless entertainment? When I realized how short my own attention span had become, I was utterly beside myself.

“But wait, Libra! Don’t you use social media for your writing?” Yes, I do. I have all the socials, and I use them to share my work. However, it is far too easy to slip into the trap of scrolling along, following accounts, getting caught up in watching ridiculous drama that has nothing to do with you, and essentially falling down the goddamn rabbit hole. I took a step back and looked at myself. True, I was currently working my way through an audiobook series, but when was the last time I spent hours actually reading? I would try, but my mind would wander and I would inevitably reach for my phone. Was my attention span actually shrinking? Yes, it was. That terrified me. I was neglecting this blog, my own writing, my Twisted Libra sites…life had become an endless parade of “scroll, like, scroll, follow, scroll, scroll, scroll…” and I was absolutely disgusted with myself.

I see souls pass through my cemetery every day wishing they had more time. Just one more book, one more hug, one more nature walk. I had the audacity to still be capable of new experiences, yet I was squandering my time watching other people experience things. I started to see the uselessness of most social media. I say most, because I have witnessed some absolutely beautiful acts of kindness, the spreading of awareness, and the sharing of pertinent knowledge. However, this makes up the minority of social media posts. The majority are people looking to be “viral” by imitating countless others to see who can do it best; people who have no real purpose other than getting “likes” and seeing their numbers go up. It’s highly inauthentic. I no longer wish to tumble down the rabbit hole. I recently clawed my way back up to the surface, not unlike rising from a grave, and I feel like I just started breathing again.

I am back where I feel happiest: working on my books, writing in this blog, my phone lying somewhere out of reach on “do not disturb.” If I have a day that does not require me to venture out into the masses of humanity, I will spend it relaxing with a book or writing something of my own. (Pants will not be worn on these days.) My unhappiness was self-inflicted; I was allowing myself to get lost in the endless sea of mind-numbing, time-wasting drivel that humanity has seemingly reduced itself to. Memes, TikTok confessions, snapchat stories…I get it, people just want to be heard. They want to be recognized. This world has become one of content, but not of substance. Take that however you wish. Your beloved Twisted Libra is vowing to walk away from the noise and start creating again. Perhaps some of you will join me?

Until next time…